Somewhere Between the Past and the Promise

Over three years ago, my husband and I found ourselves homeless for about 4 days. Not the kind of homeless that is destitute and hungry with no shelter (God cover those who are), but “home less” in a sense that we had no official place to live.

We were blessed to be on the whirlwind journey to purchasing our first home together. I honestly should have known from the beginning that God was the one orchestrating our buying process. In fact, it was because of this heavy sense that God was leading us to look for a home that we even began considering the possibility. At the time, we weren’t exactly home buying ready. Most professional financial advisors would say we were in no financial position to purchase a home. We hadn’t been saving for it, nor had we been considering it. It had been barely two years since we abruptly moved 500 miles from a different state and yet, through what I felt was a clear urge from God, here we were, against all odds, buying a house.

As the home buying process goes, it took a few months for all things to come together. The anointing of God was clear during the financing process. Additionally, we were wondrously able to break the lease of our apartment with no fees or penalties since the property manager was able to locate a new tenant immediately (God was really showing out). Our move-out dates were set and so was what we presumed would be our closing date. Literally bursting with excitement and nervous anticipation, I was overcome by the amazing power of God and his ability to work outside of all logic.

As the date approached, what seemed like a joyous ride came to a painful stall as it became apparent that our closing date would not happen as planned, and we were still committed to being out of our apartment. Somehow, the stress of what seemed to be an eminent disaster did not deter us, and my husband and I charged on in trying to figure out what would be our best option. Our lease was now officially up, our apartment now belonged to another tenant, and we were without a home. Again we were blessed with an unusual solution by the property managers of our apartment who allowed us to stay a few days in an empty unit while we awaited our new closing date(there God was again!).

So, here we were, I, my husband, and our 18 month-old daughter on an air mattress in an empty apartment with a few changes of clothes and every possession we owned locked in a 30 ft moving van parked across town; which by the way is another amazing work! In less than 48 hours we were able to find a moving company and place to store our belongings for almost a week. Even more anomalous was that the moving company, aptly named Mustard Seed Moving, stored all of our belongings at their facility at no extra charge! (I’m telling you, God was all through this thing!).

In that apartment, I found myself somewhere between our past life and the promise of our new home and future. This should have been a time of anticipation, excitement and pure joy. But it was late one of those nights, in that apartment which didn’t belong to us, that fear began to creep in and overtake me. I had led my family to this vexatious position of being without an acutal home. How had this happened? What if I had been wrong about God leading us to this? What if the sale of the house fell through? What if we had nowhere to go? What if …? What if…? What if? My doubts began to suffocate my excitement and for a moment, my faith was deflated like someone letting go of a balloon. In the fleeting moment, all the miracles God had worked for us through this process were clouded by my own fear.

Have you ever had a time in your life when you stepped out on faith and suddenly begin to question whether you were actually God led or just moving on your own?

As God does, everything eventually together. My family moved into our “promise” within 5 days. It was certainly not an easy journey, and was one of the many times that we blindly stepped out on faith, but I learned some crucial lessons during this experience:

1. There is a process from the past to your promise. – God won’t immediately take you from one season to the next. Just like the soil has to be prepped before seeds can be planted, we have to be prepared to step into our blessing. That preparation not only ensures we are ready to receive, but helps us have new appreciation for our destination. This “in between time” has purpose and often times, is where the true lesson lies.

2. The process isn’t about us, it’s about Him. – The tests of faith we experience are not to give us a badge to wear or some feeling of accomplishment. They come to demonstrate His glory so that we can share our testimony and the power of faith with others. Our faith is not to be held selfishly to our own chest, but it is to be used as beacon of God’s faithfulness to those that believe.

I know now that those 4 days in that empty apartment and the feeling of being “in between” was all so we could give God glory when we tell people our story of stepping out on faith in the midst of uncertainty. Through the impossible and illogical, God blessed us, and he wants to bless you just the same. Keep the faith “in between” and the promises of God will be fulfilled.

“And we causes everything to work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” – Romans 8: 28