Duck. Duck. Goose.
We all remember the childhood game known as “Duck, Duck, Goose”. Though designed to be innocent fun, it sometimes came with the slight feeling of anxiety as you sat cross-legged in a circle waiting to see who would be picked to be the “goose.” Depending on who was doing the selecting, you could often predict who would be chosen to take chase. Some kids chose their best friends in fun or others selected the person they liked the least. Then there were those strategic thinkers who selected the kid you knew you could outrun to ensure you’d be victorious. Either way, after each turn, someone was left standing outside of the circle as the lone goose.
I can’t help but recall that seemingly meaningless childhood game as I think about my current situation.
Two of my dearest and best friends in the world are realizing some amazing blessings in their lives. Blessing we have all three poured over and prayed over. We have hurt and cheered for each other through the process. Going to God on each other’s behalf and offering sound advice and encouragement along the way. Make no mistake, I am happy for them. Beyond happy. I am praising God right along with them for what He has done and is doing in their lives. But I can’t help but feel a little bit like the goose.
You see, like them, I too had prayers on our list. Things I have been asking God for and seeking God for. Things we had been praying for collectively. Big things and little. And while I am genuinely delighted for them, I can’ t help but wonder, why not me? Where is my blessing? Did it somehow skip me? Why I am on the outside looking in?
Duck. Duck…Goose.
As selfish as it may sound, I don’t intend for it to be. My friends know that I want nothing but amazing things for them and their lives. But deep down, I honestly feel a little left out. Shouldn’t we all be celebrating and praising God for ALL of our answered prayers?
God, my prayer was on that list too. Did you somehow miss it?
Call it jealously. Call it envy. Call it whatever you feel. But let’s be honest, being happy for someone else in the midst of your own misery is a mountainous task.
How do you celebrate a colleague’s pregnancy announcement when you are still mourning your last miscarriage?
How can you recognize and honor a friend’s wedding anniversary when your marriage is hanging on by a thread?
How can you feel genuinely elated by someone’s new job when you were just passed over for a promotion, again?
How can you join in on the praise when you are drowning in your own pain?
The answer: put away your own feelings and act in the spirit and not in the flesh. More simply said than done, right? You see, my flesh will tell me that I deserve that job more than the person who got it. My flesh will tell me that it should be me engaged to that man, and not that loose chic who isn’t really wife material. My flesh will tell me that he/she just stole my dream. My flesh will tell me that life is a competition, and somehow all those around me being blessed means they are winning and I am losing.
“Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)
Feeling, walking and living in the Spirit simply means doing what is right and not what you feel.
Remember that you are blessed. No matter your current circumstances and despite any prayers your are still waiting on being answered. You were blessed from the moment you were formed and brought on this earth. God has a plan and a promise just for you, and those around you being blessed and successful does not cancel out your success. They didn’t steal anything from you because what they received was designed for them. And what God has waiting for you is JUST FOR YOU! Their blessings don’t block yours.
So celebrate with those around you. Rejoice in their joy and happiness. When you find favor and blessings falling on those closest to you, take joy! It means you are in good company and God’s favor isn’t far from you either. Endurance builds faith, and your ability to be happy for others in the midst of your own disappointment is a test of your faith in God’s ability to do the same for you.
“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)