Gonna Be Alright

“Don’t worry about a thing. ‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright”

My daughter has loved that Bob Marley song since she was very little. Her dad and I would often sing it to her. Sometimes for fun and sometimes to calm her crying or to sing her to sleep. No matter the situation, for some reason, that song brought her comfort. 

There is a particular situation that I have been praying on for years, more years than I care to count right now. And though, overtime, God has made movements and answered prayers in some ways in that area of my life, it has not quite reached the full vision I know He has given me. I am blessed to say at this point I feel so much closer to it than I ever have. Oddly though, the closer I come to feeling His shift in my life, the more anxious I seem to get. The more I desire to see it come to fruition, the more agitated and quickened my spirit feels. Yet, like a car engine revving while still solidly in park, I am revved up, spinning in place with no release to move forward. 
As a result, for the last nine to ten months, I have been suffering with severe anxiety. The kind that engulfs your spirit and encapsulates your mind manifesting itself physically in the form of weekly panic attacks and chest pains, unforgiving migraines, shedding hair, and persistent exhaustion (just to name a few). Many days over the last few months I have spent over an hour each morning trying to encourage my soul and will my body out of bed, overcoming the idea that remaining sleep was the only way to avoid the mental and physical suffering I felt. 

Have you ever wanted something from God so bad that it literally consumed you? 

This kind of anxiousness was different. Often times our anxiety is rooted in doubt or fear, but this was born out of frustration and impatience. It wasn’t that I doubted God’s ability to move, but I believed it so much that I wanted it and expected it every minute of every day to the point that my mind failed to give anything else attention. I struggled to understand it. Why had my worry outweighed my faith in such a way? My irritation with myself for feeling as bad as I felt only made the anxiety worse. I am not sure exactly when, but recently, the revelation hit me—I had allowed my attention to focus on the anticipation of the gift, rather than the generosity of the Giver. Somehow my hope was rooted in the expectation of the promise, rather than the love of the One who provides. 

WOW! My desire for God’s blessings had begun to outweigh my desire for Him. I am slowly working on self correcting and bringing my attention back to the relationship with my Father. Overcoming emotions is not always quick or easy, but it is test of intention and commitment. 

Now, Bob Marley’s lyrics are on repeat inside my head. “Don’t worry about a thing. ‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright.” The message gives my soul the same comfort it gave my daughter. As I begin to release myself from worry and waiting, I am understanding that I can’t will myself out of anxiety. The only real remedy is to focus on the One who promises peace. When Phillippians 4:6-7 tells us “Be anxious for nothing…” I realize now that it literally means NOTHING. Not even the promises of God which he has already committed to us and prepared for an appointed time.  The second part of that verse also reminds me that the peace I need, the kind that restores the mind, can only be supplied by God. 

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7
New King James Version

If we are not careful, what feels like expectant hope can quickly shift to misplaced hope if we glorify what we desire to see more than we exalt our God who holds the power.

“This is my message to you, ou, ou”